POLITICAL JOKES

COVID-19 Flying Drone

~ Panda

ATTENTION ALL MILLENNIALS & GENERATION Z

Does the following apply to you?
  • Anxious about the exploding Deficit & National Debt?
  • The Daily Diet of Presidential inaccruacy giving you headaches?
  • Tired of Corporate Bailouts and Stock Buy Backs?
  • Have you acquired 5, 6 or 7 figures in Studen Loan Debt?
  • No ability to buy a Home?
  • Worried that Social Security is as good as a plan as PowerBall?
  • Will we even have a habitable planet soon?

Pass on your anxiety to the Boomers with the COVID-19 Drone!

At Antagonistic Boomer Logistics, we understand the frustration you encounter with the “ME” Generation. Calmly engaging in open discussions with Boomers that lead into despair as facts are dismissed as FAKE NEWS. Encountering opinions that the Earth’s main purpose is to further the economy as your environment and financial future hit the downward slippery slope.

Even still, every so often you dig deep, making a level-headed common sense argument based in fact, history & science only to discover that your Boomer’s hearing aid was off or was Bluetooth connected to Fox News the entire time as they smiled & nodded patiently not listening to your misguided lack of experience in life.

We feel your pain and want to help you relieve some anxiety.

Thank you for self quarantiniong & doing your part for your fellow citizens. Don’t get ANGRY as you realize once again Boomers are still fleecing your future as you sacrifice sitting at home to protect them.

Buy the COVID-19 Drone (Limited time offer $299.95)
Available in white, black or blood red with genuine porcupine spikes or rose thorns. 100% American made, MAGA!

Take a page from the “Me Generation” and use free speech to invoke some fear to get your message across.

Our harmless drone will sarcastically fly around your neighborhood striking fear into all Boomers.

Select one of several audio files to broadcast your personal agenda:

  • Global Warming is Real!
  • Science doesn’t require belief
  • 1 + 1 = 2
  • and many more….

For an additional $99.95 you can add our Radar feature. This will enable your drone to and “buzz” or “swoop” by Boomers invading their personal space as they are walking through the neighborhood. This has an adjustable setting from 1-5 feet.

There are several operational modes including; set patterns, free fly mode (via controller) or our proprietary stalking mode, which uses facial recognition to focus your entire message to one specific person.

If you’re ready for the full-experience add 4k HD Camera for $24.95

Simply doing laps not enough? Add on our 4k HD Camera to see every facial expression as you drive your agenda home. Don’t miss any of the action as the 4k HD Video can be exported to any smart display.

Once again we thank you for self-quarantining, & doing your part to end this Pandemic. In the meantime do the American thing and speak out loud & clear.

All proceeds from the Antagonistic Boomer Logistics – Flying COVID-19 Drone will be donated to the Putin/Trump 2020 Campaign.

Trump’s Valentine’s Day Scandal, Cupid on Strike!

Cupid goes on Strike, Trump declares National Emergency
~ Panda

Today is Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air felt by most around the world. Today is the day I prepare for all year with strategies on how to bring people together and spread love for all.

For awhile now, I’ve known that I have to give President Trump extra support and effort. The Presidency is so difficult as he represents so many. Anyway I can help him expand his empathy is on my on mind throughout the year.

During my rounds today, I visited the White House. The atmosphere was energetic all over the grounds. Chocolates, candy, flowers, Valentines and good will everywhere within sight. I proceeded with great hope and anticipation launching my first arrow at President Trump’s heart.

DIRECT HIT !!!! WOOHOO !!!

An immediate smile as he stood up and gave a kiss on the cheek to Melania who was in the Oval Office waiting for him. Abundant with joy, such a positive result, I load up my bow and shoot a second time. 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 1 minute and nothing has happened. I’m totally confused.

Not deterred I fire a 3rd arrow. Wait patiently no affect.

Suddenly puzzled, I start to wonder if any of my arrows have worked. A bit frustrated, I regroup remembering I need to assist the President. He needs empathy for all; all walks of life, immigrants, refugees, the poor, the huddled masses and those of us who are blessed.

Fire in the hole, 4, heads up, incoming, more and more phrases I express as I fire more and more arrows with zero affect.

In frustration, I rapid fire, emptying my remaining stock of arrows. Unfortunately in my frustration all of these 10 arrows, well I’m ashamed to admit, I shot him right in the ass. I know, I know, this is not Cupid behavior and a bad reaction on my part. I apologize, I had no idea of the consequences.

President Trump immediately stood up and anounced his decision is final, he will be declaring a National Emergency regarding immigration and the border wall along Mexico today, of all days Valentine’s Day.

I must apologize to America, and realize that my arrows have zero affect on the President, therefore I am officially on strike.

Keep spreading love and I’ll be back!

Cupid


Corey Booker to revolutionize Presidential Campaigning in 2020

Corey Booker to be the next Bachelor
~ Panda

Senator Corey Booker has already thrown his hat into the ring for the 2020 Presidential Race. Today on Valentine’s Day he shocked the World by announcing he’ll be the next ABC’s Bachelor for 2020.

America has definitely been intrigued by the idea of a single person as the elected President in office. Michael Douglas played, U.S. President Andrew Shepherd in the 1995 movie “The American President” which has a Certified Fresh TomatoMeter rating of 91% on RottenTomatoes.com .

Confidential campaign sources noted that President Trump effectively leveraged Reality TV along with Twitter and Social Media to achieve the Presidency. Given this they stated, there is still room to raise the bar on this strategy. Senator Booker will take it to the next level and make the whole process interactive during the campaign and let America participate in the process with the maximum amount of voyeurism as possible. Also, given the RottenTomatoes.com approval rating they feel this strategy can’t lose.

One other small note, they stated although they adore Annette Bening, the cast of potential First Ladies will have unparalleled presence and mostly outspoken strong personalities! Reality TV and Presidential Elections will never be the same.